Part 3 of the interview taken ( & edited ) from HermAphrodite #7.

GO TO: Vanilla Ice GO TO: Manics GO TO: Rock ‘n’ Roll Jobs

And when the dictaphone starts recording again, we're talking Subcircus. David thinks Peter sounds like...

David - "Oh, what's that weatherman called?"

Robin - "Fish. John Ketley."

me - "Ian McKellan."

I think I meant Ian McCaskill.

David - "Yeah!"

me - "He does not."

David - "Well he sounds like that when he speaks to me."

Robin - "Is that cos he says: 'ooh, bit of a dark patch coming over soon... I wouldn't put the washing out in the garden this weekend...'

Evidently.

me - "What weather element would you wanna be ?"

David - "Which what ?"

me - "Weather element ?"

Robin - "FIRE !"

me - "That's not a weather element."

Robin - "But it's an element."

Yes. But it's not the droid we're looking for.

me - "You can't have Earth Wind and Fire."

But they have the best songs, claims Robin.

David - "I'd be gravity."

Again, not strictly one you are warned of by John Tetley...

Robin - "Don't give me this rap that you're down to earth, man."

me - "Noooo. You can be rain, snow, sunshine..."

David - "Hail."

me - "Hail hurts."

Robin - "I'd be ice. Cool as..."

And despite that golden opportunity to segue into his ( renowned ) Vanilla Ice impression, Robin declines. Shyly. For once.

Robin - "I'd like Vanilla Ice to come and see us live, that would be hilARious."

Ah, no. He's a twat...

me - "He was crap."

Robin - "Whaddaya mean, 'was'? I've got three of his albums. I bet you never even KNEW he did three albums."

me ( mournfully ) - "I never even cared."

David - "I like that; 'he was a twat', 'whaddaya mean WAS, he still is'..."

Heh-heh.

David - "Rupert Van Winkle."

me - "What ?"

David - "Rupert Van Winkle, that's his real name."

No it's not. It's Robert. Though some sources claim it's Peter Goldstein. David's sounds funnier though. Whatever it is, it doesn't make the man any less of a twat.

David - "And he claimed to have been in a knife fight but the scar was where he had his appendix out."

Robin - "And he's got these brilliant lyrics on his second album, he goes: 'I'm gettin' tired of all you punks being jealous / trying to say I might be another Elvis'. That is the definition of cocksure..."

Yeah exactly.

me - "We don't need more twats in rock 'n' roll."

David - "Yeah we do."

me - "We've got Steps."

David - Steps are great."

me - "No they're not."

David - "I used to go out with one of Steps."

First reactions: yikes -> why ? -> which one ?

me - "Make it the one with the dreadlocks, she's actually quite attractive."

David - "Yeah, it was. And Robin used to go out with one of the fellas..."

Robin - "One of the crew, actually."

me - "But we've already had Abba, so we don't need Steps."

As I was arguing before.

Robin - "We've already had Guns and Roses, so why have Motley Crue ? You can't say that."

And then I realise Guns N Roses to have been rampant lipstick queens. A phase I don't remember. Nevermind. And from talk of such tartery, we move on to the Manics. Whom David has now lost faith in. Completely.

David - "I know where Richey went - the others ate him."

I ignore this. And instead coo over Nicky's regaining of his lipstick crown - in small ways he's still the same. I still love them. But it can't be as much as it was before. Before this album they never put out a single that I just couldn't listen to because it was so bad. Before this album I would still look forward to the b-sides. Before this album I didn't think I had to worry about the quality of their lyrics. Stupid me for trusting them to retain their glory when all along they've been saying they're not to be relied on; why keep that promise, and not the love-ballad one?

David - "I think the Manics when they first started there was more of a point, because there was more emotional content to what they were doing. They used to be brilliant. I think the worst thing is they used to be the best band in Britain. By miles. And now they're just shit.

They're just so boring. And I think they're really arrogant when they go on about the Spanish Civil War."

me - "But they're still managing to educate people."

David - "But they're not. D'you really think all the lager louts that

listen come to their gigs have any clue ? They're just singing along."

me - "But they're still trying."

David - "How can you educate someone about the Spanish Civil War in a two minute pop-song? That's really arrogant."

me - "If it's going to make somebody go out and read George Orwell then it's worth it."

That, if they've lost all else, keeps me going. They still want us to read, to learn, to question. The songs still have a weight, even if it's not exquisitely articulated as it once was. And they are the only band who seem to be using their medium of expression to reach more than just the pockets of their fans.

me - "So why are YOU doing this ?"

David - "It's really hard to justify being in a band..."

me - "But you know if it's just entertainment, or if you're filling a void in music which wasn't around before..."

David - "Well it's obviously communication of some sort. I just prefer music that's a bit more emotional. And isn't black and white, so you say that 'this is right and this is wrong'. I don't think it's possible in music for someone to tell you something about war. It's over too quickly."

me - "So why are you doing this ?"

David - "Just because we've always been into music. Ultimately, I think, we're in a band because it's a really exciting thing, playing rock music."

me - Are you purveyors of pop-music ?"

Robin - "What, like Steps ?"

me ( sarcastic ? moi ? ) - "Yes. Exactly like Steps. You and your choreographed dance routines..."

Robin - "Well what's pop-music ?"

David - "We're popveyors of perve-music."

Yes.

Robin - "Voyeurs of purge-music."

Okay.

me - "So is this all that you've ever wanted to do ? Can you see yourselves being postmen ?"

Robin - "Postmen ? Ah, been there, done that."

David - "Have you ever been a postman."

Robin - "Nooooo..."

David - "I've been a bartender before."

me - "In a Tom Cruise 'Cocktail' or Tiff from 'Eastenders' kind of way ?"

David - "Just in a boring concert-hall in Cardiff kind of way."

Robin - "I was a rock and roll forklift driver."

me - "How rock and roll can you be if you're a forklift driver ?"

Robin - "Fucking rock and roll. There's this little knob on the steering wheel, cos it's all power steering, and you can spin it round so the back steers..."

David - "You can do wheelies ?"

In a FORKLIFT ?

David - "Like hell on wheels..."

In a FORKLIFT ?

Robin - "Yeah - it's like being in the dodgems when you steer from the back."

David isn't that impressed. And is pulling a face to prove it.

Robin - "At least I'm being honest."

David - "You're out of the band."

Robin - "Right. I'm off."

Don't worry kids, they're 'only joshing'. They're too good at this rock starr malarkey to wanna quit just yet...

me - "Just how much of a social whore do you think could you become ?"

Robin - "I don't think I could possibly get much... is it better or worse ?"

David - "We're just, um, friendly fellas."

This is a man who still has on his rock starr sunglasses, as he has not slept for two days. ( And he um, has no eyebrows. )

Robin - "Hey, if there's a camera we smile, if there's a mike we talk, if there's a club we're on the guestlist."

Robin shows us the contents of the 'drinks cabinet' section of his wallet. Numerous free drinks vouchers are waved proudly before us.

me - "Can you photocopy those pieces of paper?"

Robin - "Don't be so cheap! ( pause ) D'you know, I'd never even thought of that. That's how bad you are. I play by the game."

But ligs as much as is possible.

Robin - "Being poor has made me a very good blagger."

me - "You cheap ligging bastard."

Robin - "I'm cheap in every instance of the word."

David - "The reason they always photograph us is cos everyone else is so fucking boring."

me - "So your Social Whore Rating on a one to ten...?"

Robin - "It would be off the rating."

David - "It would be twenty-five."

me - "And it can only get better."

Robin - "Things can only get cheaper."

Oh yes.

And brighter.

Last revised: 26/07/01