Interview taken from HermAphrodite #4
me - “Are you happy, doing this ?”
Nick - “Yeah.”
Elliot - “Oh yeah.”
Becca - “Is it the best job in the world ?”
Elliot - “Definitely.”
Though what drives them nuts are the people that won’t listen,
that won’t open up because they’ve already decided to like them.
Nick - “The people that won’t listen, refuse to, because one’s
wearing make-up or one’s got funny hair, or they look like a bunch of poofs...”
Elliot - “They’re missing out. There are so many good bands
around... You miss out on so much by just being narrow-minded.”
Nick - “I feel like none of us could do anything else really; half
of it then is that we haven’t got a choice. But there is nothing else we would
rather be doing at the same time... If we were doing anything else it wouldn’t
be right - we’ve never been happy doing anything but this.”
me - “You’re not worried about inspiration falling away ?”
Nick ( looks surprised ) - “Oh no. Modern civilisation’s such a
bizarre place, there’s always going to be inspiration.”
Though they themselves don’t simply want to be seen as bizarre.
me - “Do you want to wear costumes or anything onstage ?”
Becca ( in her own little world ) - “Wizzy Womble...”
Elliot ( grinning ) - “There would be a danger of us going WAY too
far.”
And this somehow prompts our suggesting their writing an Eddie
Izzard tribute song. Ode to 
Mrs Badcrumble. Or something...
Which prompts the memory -
Nick - “Elliot scared the shit out of him...”
us ( warily ) - “What did you do ?”
Elliot - “I just tapped him on the shoulder to ask him a question
at the Astoria.”
Nick - “You didn’t ask him.”
Elliot - “Aaah, I was going to.”
Nick - “You pounced on him... We played this show in London, and
there was a bar upstairs and we were up there, and he was there. And we’d
always had this big debate whether it was ‘yappy-type dogs’ or ‘yapper’.”
me - “Oh, it’s yapper.”
Nick - “Yeah.”
Elliot - “So I went up to him and said ‘IS IT YAPPER OR YAPPY?’ ”
Nick - “And he just turned, and the look on his face...”
Which brings us round to
talk of stalkers. And yes, The Pecadiloes did used to have a stalker. And yes,
that does mean that they now have made it. Plans are currently under
consideration to employ a new one ( all the good press of having a stalker,
none of the sleepless nights ).
Nick - “We’d hire people to do it. Wander round like ‘Rock star,
look, me stalker !’”
Becca – “Spotlight on them halfway through the set...”
Elliot - “Probably end up being more famous than we would.”
I start thinking of the daytime TV chatshow niches there could be
for the professional stalker. Particularly if they have some sort of angle on
their job.
me - “They could dress up as a big chicken.”
Elliot ( starts laughing ) - “What ?”
Becca - “They could play the triangle or something.”
me ( quite happy with my own train of thought ) - “Get that big
Tory chicken to follow you round.”
Elliot - “I was going to say that.”
me - “The triangle or the chicken ?”
Elliot - “The triangle.” ( You were going to say that ? Why ? )
Becca - “I think the Womble thing could work again.”
me - “The Womble thing’s really quite freaky...”
Where were we ? Oh yeah, stalkers...
me - “Have you been sent anything ? No eyelashes through the post
?”
Elliot - “I get some make-up.”
Nick ( happily ) - “Pecker in my pocket.”
Becca just starts laughing.
me - “Hel-LO ?”
Nick - “Somebody made plasticine models of us, which they’d
oven-baked, or something. And they’re four Pecadiloes, about this big. And as
soon as they’ve got the money, they’re going to manufacture them.”
Becca - “That’s good that.”
me - “So it’s not like they’re really little voodoo dolls...?”
Nick - “Nooooo.”
me - “Are you sure ? You have been keeping them safe ?”
Nick - “I don’t have a clue where they are, actually.”
Claire - “If you ever get a pain in your arm, then you’ll know...”
Nick becomes convinced that that is why Elliot is currently
afflicted.
Elliot ( eyebrows raised ) - “Highly likely...”
me - “ Has anyone ever thrown any pants at you while you’ve been
playing ?”
Nick - “No. And I’d want some pants thrown at me.”
Elliot - “I’d rather knickers...”
Claire - “I’ll remember that.”
Becca - “We will as well.”
me - “So you want sexy pants ?”
Elliot - “I’d just rather girls’ pants.”
me - “So would you wear them ? Would you keep them ? What would
you do with them ?”
Elliot - “I’d wear them... Actually, I’d have them framed, and put
on my bedroom wall.”
Nick - “Actually, I’ve got your boxers, those Mickey Mouse ones.”
Forgotten / abandoned with Nick after a cleaning expedition (
Elliot’s washing-machine has broken ). That is established before conversation
continues. He doesn’t just steal his friend’s underwear.
me - “If they’re spare, we could throw his pants at you.”
Nick ( looks straight at me )
- “Tell you what, tonight, I’ll throw Elliot’s pants at you.”
me ( giggling ) - “Cool.”
Elliot - “Um...”
Nick ( positively ) - “Yeah. I’ll do that.”
Elliot really doesn’t think so. He says so.
me - “Yeah, but then I can throw them at you.”
I think he wants some of his own.
He wants to keep his own underwear, and be given other peoples.
Nick - “I will, I’ll throw his pants at you.”
Elliot - “Oh ( sounds pained ) they’re like the best boxer shorts
in the world.”
Which makes me feel really guilty in retrospect for, um,
absconding with them at the end of the night.
Because you know what ? Nick is a man of his word. And I’d advise
you go see them just for the perchance of leaving with pants...
Some Pecadiloe survival tips then.
Should you get the chance:
Do ask Nick to do his
impression of the string-puppet they have in their studio, which moves like a
Thunderbird whenever they hit the cymbal. ( It’s amazing. Truly. )
Don’t talk too fast.
Do talk Eddie Izzard.
Don’t connect them to any
sort of ‘new wave’ or ‘scene’.
Do throw knickers at them.
And most importantly,
don’t let them go to sleep near any item of your clothing.
Rock ‘n’ roll party queens...
Last revised: 26/07/01